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7.31.2001
10:03 PM
well, today's my birthday. Lets just say it sux. Today was completely horrible. Lets just keep it to that. It was the worse birthday i've had. just horrible. do u ever feel like ur unwanted? do u ever wonder why ur here on earth? what is my purpose here? I hate people. I really do. a person, i might like, but people in general i hate. i hate groups of people. because then i just stand there all to myself, in my own little world while everyone else is talking among themselves. when i'm around a group of people, i normally follow someone i know. I'm like the goldfish in the fish bowl that follows ur finger around as u move it around the bowl. I'm afraid i anoy people by following them around, i'm afraid just me being there anoy people. i'm afraid of saying something anoying. thats why i don't talk. i listen, i don't like to talk, i feel like when i talk its all about me. i feel selfish. it anoys me, i talk about everything in my life when i do talk. when my family comes up in the conversation, i say to myself "NO!! stop talking about ur life! ur so selfish, u should think of others more than urself." And thats really what i do, i think of others before myself, i guess. but in some way i feel selfish, and anoying. When i get really depressed i hide it. i hide all my feelings, keep them inside. i dont' want to let them out, because i'll anoy someone, or frustrate them. believe me, the people (er...person) that i talk to when i'm depressed gets really frustrated. He doesn't understand why i keep all my feelings inside, why i stuff them away in the back until it gets overcrowded and i get even more depressed. He doesn't understand why i lie to myself, how i keep on saying that i'm fine, that i'm happy, that i'm allright, even though i'm not. and i don't either. i don't know myself. Nobody know's my real self, not even me.
~-Hawlee-~ **Bored as Hell**
7.29.2001
1:36 PM
Tuesday is my birthday, and my birthday party was yesterday. Last week i went to Six flags, then went shopping around. I went to an anime store and spent $165 on 6 things. BUT ITS WONDERFUL AMAZING THINGS!!!!! lololol. I got a slayers artbook, a Gackt picture book *_*, Mahou Tsukai Tai dvd (that only had two episodes XP), 2 3x3 eyes manga's, and a Trigun wallpaper. I also got at other places the Akira dvd (THE BEST MOVIE ON EARTH!!!), Key the Metal Idol dvd, and a FF wall scroll. Gotta love that. I haven't watched Key the Metal Idol yet, or the Akira dvd, but i will. I've seen Akira, but it was the dub ¬¬ and even thought they probably didn't change anything, its still a dub, and i despise dubs ¬¬. I LOVE Mahou Tsukai Tai!!!!! I love it to peices!!!! but guess what!!! IT ONLY HAD 2 EPISODES ON THE DVD!!!!! i found that out while i was watching it!!! That pisses me off!!!!! grrrrrr XP. My desk is cleaaaaan!!! Yeyeyeyeyeyey!!!! It's never clean, but it is now. Now i have all my anime stuff all around my computer. I put my Trigun wallscroll where my Slayers one was, and moved my slayers wallscroll over two bssm posters on the wall, and i put the FF wallscroll in an empty spot. Now, when u walk in, u don't see SAILOR MOON, u see ANIME. Don't get me wrong, i still love BSSM, but its not my favorite anymore. Meh fav is Slayers XD. And i don't want people to think i'm a sailor moon freak anymore. Well, nomatter what their still going to think that, but if they come into the house, i don't want them to see all sailor moon stuff. God, i love Gackt (nice change in subject there). I just stare at the picture book i have of him. it cost me $50!!! but its Gackt, who can't resist the wonderfulness of Camui Gackt. My wallpaper is a Gackt wallpaper, and i'm trying to find a winamp skin of Gackt i like. Otherwise i'll just have to make one XP. Then i need icons of Gackt, and i'll be set. lolololololol. I'm getting tired of the X/1999 icons i have, so i changed it to slayers, but i don't really like the slayers with the Gackt background **sigh**. lolol, i'm picky.
~-Hawlee-~ **Bored as Hell**
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----Personal
Name- Holly
Alias-
Hawlee Hawls Hawlz
Age- 15
Birthday- July 31
Sex- Female
Location- Texas
Zodiac- Leo
Blood Type- AB
Eye Color- Green
Hair Color-Strawberry Blond
Mood-  ----Personality
CCS- Sakura
Mahou Tsukai Tai- Sae
Final Fantasy IX- Eiko
FF VII- Nanaki (Red XIII)
FF Villians- Sephiroth
Utena- Miki
Slayers- Lina
Fushigi Yuugi- Chichiri
Rurouni Kenshin- Kenshin ----Favorites
CCS- Touya
Final Fantasy- Aeris & Zidane
Slayers- Lina Inverse
FY- Tatsuki & Chichiri
BSSM- Galaxia Uranus
KNO- Hayama
Tenchi Muyo- Mayuka
3x3 Eyes- Yakumo ----Sites
LaLa...La
Golden Galaxy
Manatsu no Eve
Okami
Insane Red-Head
Linkies Linkies
Nothing Lasts Forever -----This
Version
This version of Burning Flame (v.3.0) features Tetsu from the
J-Rock band, L'arc~en~ciel. Gotta love Tetsu XD!! |
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